YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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