i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
