so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We had to coat check the pizza.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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