The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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