So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
