just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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