but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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