Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
