is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
