Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
