similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
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We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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