There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize