I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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