So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
