but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
