Duck Duck Cougar?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
