Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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