Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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