Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize