whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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