New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize