I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My bed smells like the plague
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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