I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
