I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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