he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
