She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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