i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
