Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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