Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
