ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
