We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
