NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
