discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
