Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
