you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
