The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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