Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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