question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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