Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
is it fun? or sober?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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