My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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