You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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