we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
