sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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