Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize