Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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