I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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