I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
