i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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