i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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