u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
