did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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