After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
