new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
