she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
