I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize