So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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