Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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