she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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