You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
