Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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