Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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