I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
