it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Drake has all the answers
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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