this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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