I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
