I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
